Let Your Kids Drive You Sane...and Healthy
By Jo delAmor
I know you love your kids. They’re so cute and they say the darndest things. And those sweet hugs they give just make your heart melt. But sometimes you might also feel that they’re driving you crazy and wearing you out. Parenting is so physically and emotionally taxing that you can easily be left feeling cranky, impatient and exhausted.
Parenting Pushes You to Your Limits
As challenged as you are by your children, a simple shift in perspective can reveal them as your personal key to greater sanity and stronger personal health. In fact, the challenge is what it’s all about. Your children were specially designed to push you to your personal edges so that you can grow and evolve and become more fully YOU. No one else can push your buttons like your own child and no one else demands so much of you physically.
Pregnancy and nursing can leave a mom feeling really wiped out and depleted. And then there’s infancy. I don’t have to tell you about it…sleepless nights, teething, poopy diapers, and the need for constant attention. Parents (especially moms) get into the habit of giving giving giving with little regard for their own wellbeing. Moms even give the calcium right out of their bones and the iron right out of their blood! As your kids get bigger it’s easy to find yourself feeling tired and overwhelmed with only a vague memory of the human you once were. You may binge on junk food or caffeine to try to keep up with life or feel like you have no time to exercise. By evening time you may be irritable or so exhausted that all you want is to get the kids to bed so you can have a glass of wine and watch a movie.
In addition to wearing you out physically they can also challenge you emotionally. Your own kids have a special way of challenging your patience, kindness, and preconceived notions about the world. Somehow they can trick you into acting just like your parents! You may find yourself saying things to them or treating them in ways you could never imagine yourself capable of. They trigger your hidden fears, activating your desire to control, caudle, or manipulate and have you acting out all your weaknesses. Parenting can be so intense!
Your Children Are Here to Help You Heal
Thank goodness there’s another side to all of this. Your kids are a precious gift designed specifically for you. They are your unique opportunity for personal growth, the healing of dysfunctional family patterns and committing to life through excellent holistic health. They are the perfect motivation to get yourself together.
It’s natural that your deep and abiding love for them ignites your desire to give them the very best start in life. Most parents share the sentiment that they want their children’s lives to be better than their own has been. This is evolution. It is a powerful natural force and the foundation of the parenting/child relationship. Your children are the next step in this miraculous process of evolution and they are here to help you evolve as well. But how does it work?
Lead by Example
Children never do what they’re told. They’re too smart for that. They will do what you do. They model their behavior after your behavior. If you want them to have healthy habits, great relationships and enjoy their lives, guess what… you have to show them how.
Making your physical health and emotional growth a top priority in your life automatically improves your sense of wellbeing and the example you are setting for your children. It will open doors to brand new ways of enjoying life. Everyone in your family will benefit when you commit to living as fully and as healthfully as you can. Set the example of appreciating life, caring for your body and aspiring toward peaceful meaningful relationships in all areas of your life. Your children will amaze you in the beautiful ways that they follow your lead.
The challenges that parenting provides are an invitation for new creative and healthful responses.
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Rewrite your family story by being honest with your children, empowering them to express themselves, apologizing when necessary, holding them accountable for their impact, really listening to them and developing functional win-win problem solving techniques within your family.
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Bolster your strength and physical stamina by nourishing your body with good food, lots of water, great sleep (when you can get it) and regular exercise.
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Increase your level of presence and patience with your children by empowering them to be responsible in an age appropriate way, getting special time to yourself and with your partner, developing a dynamic relationship with Spirit (however you relate to it) and making sure to pursue your personal interests.
Incorporating these tools will help you feel better, of course, and help your children to thrive as they follow your example. It’s a wild world out there and someday they might be parents too…they’re going to need all the strength and vitality they can get!